It is no secret that I love comic books and their superheroes. They aren’t all for children, take Vertigo comics
with Sandman and the Preacher, for example, or the Watchmen even. “A superhero (sometimes rendered super-hero or super hero) is a fictional character of unprecedented physical powers dedicated to acts of daring-do in the public interest” (Wikipedia). If you’re bad then you’re not a superhero anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re not cool – I did always have a penchant for The Joker. It does, however, mean that you’re a super villain.
Angie doesn’t read comics. (You will know her from Seo Scoop, where she regularly blogs, and her freelance writing site, Freedom Freelance). Superheroes do spark a little wonderment in all of us though, so it wasn’t long before we started discussing our own superhero properties. Women superheroes are called “superheroines”. We soon decided that we would most likely be Sue Storm Richards (A.K.A Invisible woman), the Crimson Avenger or the wonderful Ms. Marvel, all for practical reasons of course.
We wondered which superheroes our well known SEO’s would be, so we asked them to take the superheroes test (which is totally 100% foolproof) and…it was pretty interesting. Here are the results, now you’ll know who to call on when you need a hand:
The Web’s Two Spidermen (A.K.A. Rand Fishkin and Danny Sullivan):
“With great power, come great responsibilities.”
Peter Parker, Spiderman’s alter ego, is described as “Intelligent, witty, a bit geeky with great power and responsibility.” After being bitten by a radioactive spider, this regular guy developed amazing power. Spiderman is a genius, has accelerated healing powers and can cling to just about any surface. He also has a special precognitive spider sense that’s great for picking up on the latest moves of various evil doers. Spiderman’s super fast, agile and has an amazing sense of balance, which allows him to keep up to all of the evil going-ons. He is also able to keep his wits about him when challenged. Humble and unassuming, Peter Parker is just a regular guy with amazing superpowers.
Rand Fishkin, like Peter, didn’t think he should go and be a superhero at any time, until it became clear that it was his calling. Hence the birth of SEOMoz. Together with his team, Rand and his band of SEOheros spend their days dissecting the ‘evil’ Google’s master plan and helping others in the industry learn the tips and tricks. Rand even has little spider beasties of his own crawling around the web.
One look at Google, and he can be found making a B line to the nearest phone booth in his yellow Puma where he transforms into the web-spinning Spiderman, ready to get down to work.
It’s a good thing search engines came along for Danny Sullivan. Having become an expert at defeating the local library catalog system and the librarian, Danny was ready for a new challenge when he received the opportunity to explore search engines again in 1995. Like Rand, Danny prefers to educate his band of cohorts and learn more about his nemesis Google and his fellow web crawling buddies.
Hulk (A.K.A Tetsuto Yabuki):
“Hulk is not afraid of Google…Hulk is strongest one there is!”
Physicist Dr. Bruce Banner accidentally exposed himself to a self-made gamma bomb involuntarily transforming himself into The Hulk, a huge green giant with phenomenal strength and a short fuse. Well, We don’t know about the short fuse, but Tetsuto can certainly give you the ins and outs of SEO, spiders, website structure, and much more.
When Banner gets upset or angry he turns into The Hulk, who’s not a bad guy really, he just smashes everything accidentally when he gets emotional. He has incredible speed, stamina, strength, and heals quickly. He’s also a genius.
The instant we made the discovery that Tetsuto is really The Hulk in disguise, we couldn’t believe we hadn’t thought of it before. He’s well known for having some of the best rants on Twitter and in blog comments. He is also generous, sharing some of the knowledge he’s gained throughout the years with anyone interested in learning (Check out SEO4Fun.com). He’s been around long enough that smashing things and making his own path to the top of the SERPs is ‘all in a day’s work’ (S-site P-positioned A-above M-mine. ’nuff said 
).
Catwoman (A.K.A Ann Smarty):
“All the little spammers have gone back to their holes. But this is a game I always win.”
She is a whip-cracking, high-stake thief and anti-heroine, who is best known for opposing Batman. Batman is of course totally in love with her, probably something to do with the catsuit, the high boots and the whip. It is believed that she loves Batman back. She is indeed a femme fatale.
Selina Kyle (what catwoman’s mum calls her.) is by day a socialite and CEO of a large corporation (a job she got using blackmail). She tried to take over NY city, but her efforts were twarted. This hasn’t stopped Ann…we mean Catwoman…She’s still trying to take over things.
Catwoman is super fast and agile, has very very sharp claws, is amazing at hand to hand combat and acrobatics, and is also a very talented thief. She is well known for her use of the whip and cat o nine tails and isn’t afraid to use them.
Ann seems very quiet, but we all know it’s the quiet ones you have to watch.
Superman (A.K.A Donna Fontenote):
“Nobody tears my site apart and gets away with it.”
He was born on the planet Krypton before being sent down to earth by his scientist dad when the planet blew up. He was raised in Kansas and his amazing abilities became more and more apparent through the years. Known as Clarke Kent he is a mild mannered reporter, but as superman he is superhuman. He is incredibly strong, intelligent, agile, fast and regenerates quickly. He has heat and x-ray vision, super breath, and can fly.
Donna is the perfect reflection of Superman, and has no problem taking on the spam boys, or beards of search to get what she wants and get it first. This amazing lady is a true geek who has taken on everything from business coaching, design, development, and more to create a kingdom of devoted followers and ‘geeklets’.
Green Lantern (A.K.A Ralph):
“In brightest day, in blackest night, Google shall not escape my sight. Let those who worship its searching plight, beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!”
Ralph Tegtmeier may go by fantomaster, but he is really the Green Lantern in disguise. He has built a great, dark, hidden lair where he shares knowledge on the tried and true methods of doing battle on the web. He spends most of his time appearing around the web in his desire to see his arch-nemesis Google finally fall. To accomplish this feat, he has a number of ‘power rings’ what have almost any effect from shooting links miles a minute to invisibility and beyond. Did we mention the Green Lantern Oath that recharges these powerful gadgets? We have also heard rumor that he is gathering an army of bots to command at will
To finish off….
Catwoman I have to say said it quite nicely:
“I’m a thief–and stealing is what I do. Not so much for the prize or the possession or even the profit…but for the art of doing it…because I can… and because I’m good.”
That’s how a few of us feel about search engine optimization….
“I’m an seo–and optimizing is what I do. Not so much for the prize or the possession or even the profit…but for the art of doing it…because I can… and because I’m good.”
I want to be Spawn
Yes, there is an art, a balance, a rhythm to SEO done well.
lol and I want to be SuperBoy http://www.supermanhomepage.com/images/action-figures/CTT-superboy.jpg
Link. Bait.
But still entertaining – thanks!
I have seen relatively few SEO experts as articulate as you are, most of them I have to admit, have had a dry style if not boring. I have taken great pleasure reading this post and especially cracked at the part where you said “he can be found making a B line to the nearest phone booth in his yellow Puma where he transforms into the web-spinning Spiderman, ready to get down to work.”
Although you cheated a little (choice of topic, comic book heroes, too geeky), and your unfair advantage (PhD in Natural Language Processing) over the others, this post has been a good companion for my morning coffee.
As long as I’m The Invisible Man, all is good.
lol, I’m glad you enjoyed the post and thank you .
I think i would have to describe my self as boy wonder lol mind you i’ve not been in the game long
Lewis, this is “fun”, not “link bait”. You have marketer disease! quick!
Cool post, I was wondering who the Sandman would be, I have the 13 volume set, awesome stuff. Cheers.
Nice post.. btw who are the Fantastic Four?
Chris, you haven’t lived
http://marvel.com/universe/Fantastic_Four
Ah, nice article. Nice appraisal for these guru’s. Isn’t Batman missing?
Cute post. Did any of the “super heros” you mentioned notice this or comment about it?